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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Only the English could have invented this language!(Damn funny!Must read!)

We'll begin with a box, and the plural of box is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen,not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice
Yet the plural of house is houses,not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And i give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shoudn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the maculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it-English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor it is a pig.

And why is that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sonetimes i think all the folk who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We drive in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance anda a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

AND IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN
PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS,
GERMS ( I am not insulting anyone!Really!)

P/s, this article i have used two days to type and i have edited it at least 5 times so please leave comments about what you think about this post(actually, this is from my father's email, but he accidentally deleted it so i have no choice but to copy and type from the piece of paper i printed the article from before he deleted it)

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